no matter where i go, i always stumble home to you
by words end here
Summary: Nate/Blair oneshot. Nate turns up on Blair's door step, randomly. But it wasn't as if they needed an excuse before.


**NB in the second person. Weird, huh? Well I decided to give it a try, so if you find second person annoying or whatever, don't read. It's from Blair's POV. It's kind of bitter sweet and its set sometime during summer in the city. It's totally random too. I just get into these random NB writing moods. Enjoy!**

--

_There's someone I'm missing,_

_I think they could be, _

_The better half of me._

-One Republic, Come Home.

--

There's knocking at the door. Chuck? He abandoned you in Italy and now he expects redemption? Livid, you stomp over and open the door.

It's not Chuck.

"I don't know why I'm even here." He states after you invite him in. Breaking news: Nate's confused. You can't understand why he's here either. Well, Nate was always kind of random. There was a time when you used to find it endearing. And you'd be lying to yourself if you said you still didn't. He's still the golden boy. And he still has those emerald eyes that see straight past through. Eyes that see you for you. Not Chuck's eyes. No, his eyes are usually glued to other areas of your body.

Chuck was…exciting. You can't deny that. You never were really with any else before, just Nate. And then Chuck just had to lure you into his limo and take advantage. Yeah, he took advantage, you were tipsy, good looking and he took advantage. Well, it's Chuck. You'd be kind of worried if he decided not to take advantage.

"It's okay. I'm not doing anything any way." You say casually. "What's wrong?"

He sits down on your bed and looks around slowly; taking in all the objects he grew up around. Nate basically used to live in your house and he slept over all the time. But the age of innocence is over. It ended when you decided to be friends with Chuck Bass. Nate's anxious in a place where he used to be so relaxed. When did things ever get to this?

"It's just my dad. He decides everything, you know?" He says exasperated. You can't help but feel a twinge of sadness. It's like an involuntary action, Nate feels something and you feel it too.

"Yeah, I do know." You reply. You don't really need to clarify who you're talking about. Nate knows, because Nate knows you. You sit yourself beside him and look at him. He was supposed to be your future. You loved him. Actually, you still do. Because you never really believed in the word; _loved._ Because you don't just stop loving someone, especially when that person happens to be Nathaniel Archibald.

"I'm sorry for what happened in Italy." He says quietly. It's typical, really. Nate's apologising for Chuck's mistake. Nate's comforting you and being a friend, when Bass's ass is nowhere to be seen. Nate's here, when Chuck is probably drunk, molesting the nought point five percent of the Upper East Side he hasn't gotten around to yet.

"You know what? Fuck him." You say. You're aware that you bitching about his friend, but there was a time when you were Nate's best friend. A time when he actually poured out his heart to you. It kind of feels like that right now again.

"He's not good enough for you." He says all fire burned up in his eyes. _Finally._ He said it. He just cut the crap and let it out. What right does he have to do this any way? Like he was good enough for you? He slept with Serena. He's not exactly in the best position to judge. What gives him the right to just show up here and interrogate you?

Now this could go in one of two directions. You could kiss him, like you really, really want to and rip each others clothes off and by tomorrow, you'd be back together and all would be forgiven. You'd finally have him back. It would be Nate and Blair, Blair and Nate. Your past, your present…your future?

Or you could just hug him. Yes, a friendly hug. So you fling your arms around him and you feel him play with your chestnut hair. And you let him. And before things get too heated, you pull yourself back. _What the hell were you doing? A hug? _You start giggling and Nate joins you in the laughter. You both flop down on your bed and all of a sudden you're both twelve again and just lying there, because there's nothing else to do when things get this fucked up.

"Hold me." You say timidly. Blair Waldorf, timid? Things are really fucked yup.

"Okay, come here." He wraps his arms around you and then the rest of the world just disappears. It's like he's healing you. It's like your healing each other. And you could really use the healing now, especially when Eleanor is being…Eleanor. And Serena's still leading her perfect life. And everyone has a smile on their face except you.

"Why did you come back from the Hamptons?" You question, forgetting where he was supposed to be.

"The same reason you came back from Italy." He says cryptically.

And the Audrey inside you decides that its fate. It must be, right? What are the odds? He decides to come back from the Hamptons just when you've had enough of Tuscany.

And as platonically as possible you let the words escape, "I love you. I still do."

But it's not platonic. Because, honestly, could it ever be with Nate? When he's this close to you, holding you, guarding you and protecting you, like he's done before.

"I always assumed that you knew I love you too." He begins, huskily. "I guess it's because you know me better than anyone…but let me say this. I wish I told you that more often when we were together. I would have done everything so differently."

And you feel the tears surface. And you don't know why, Chuck? Nate? The shamble that is your life?

What could have been? That's what you're all sad over. Nate could still be yours. You could be together and happy.

You let your eyes flutter shut.

--

You look over at your bedside, and _8:30 am _flashes on your alarm. And he's gone. Nate's gone away from you. As you exit your room and get the chefs to fix you up breakfast, you can't get his image out of your head. Nate's heart had opened last night, and you didn't go in. You didn't let yourself in. You'd missed your chance. Now his heart was probably sealed off again. He told you he would have done things differently. He told you he loved you. And you told him you still loved him. He told you a lot last night, a lot. And Nate Archibald? Not exactly the type of guy who is the best at dealing with how he feels.

What he didn't tell you was that he still wears your heart on his sleeve. Every day.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

--

_The fight for you is all I've ever known,_

_so come home._

--

**I want to do a companion piece from Nate's POV, s****o that coming soon! Hope you liked and please review! (:**


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